


like a gayer, more oblivious mulder and scully

by harperuth



Category: Tanis (Podcast), The Black Tapes Podcast
Genre: Alcohol, Comedy of Errors, Gen, Idiots in Love, Misunderstandings, Multi, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-18 00:06:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12376896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harperuth/pseuds/harperuth
Summary: Alex and Strand do their level best to push Geoff and Nic together, as they're clearly suffering through Unknown Requited Love, but their best ain't great kids.This is set in a world where PNWS never got serious and it's just a bunch of friends dickin around with ghost stuff.





	like a gayer, more oblivious mulder and scully

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stiction](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stiction/gifts).



> There's more pairings inside, but they are a SURPRISE, check the end notes if you rly want to ruin it.
> 
> Thanks to Kris for the gang goes to tanis, which spawned this hell fic I've been working on for FAR TOO LONG.

Alex couldn’t look away. It was like watching a car crash…or watching someone wearing noise-cancelling headphones almost getting hit by a car, then the car missing them and spinning out into a lamppost…or like watching Strand in a carnival’s haunted house. Possibly the simile had gotten away from her, but in her defense: tequila.

She downed another shot as Geoff van Sant once again slung an arm around Nic and leaned in close to talk. Close. Real close. The bar wasn’t even loud. The jukebox in the corner was _broken_. MK had been fiddling with it every weekend that they dragged her outside and it still didn’t work. Strand sat back down next to her with their next round.

“You’ve got that look on your face again,” He mused, “The one that tells me I’m going to regret asking what’s going on because somehow I will end up in the middle of the woods on a weekend, yelling at trees.”

“We didn’t yell at trees,” Alex looked away from her own personal horror-comedy in the making to poke at Strand, “We yelled at the hypothetical…ghost…nymph…things that were _in_ the trees.”

“You’re getting slower on your comebacks Reagan,” Strand said into his beer, “As much as I hate to ask, what’s going on?”

“Strand. Strand. Doctor. _Richard_ ,” Alex couldn’t possibly be betraying the import of what she was about to say. She was too tequila soaked for proper drama, but she barreled on anyways, “Look at my producer. Look at him. This is amazing.”

Strand looked at where Nic is explaining something to Geoff, with a lot of hand gestures. Geoff was just sitting there and staring at him. Alex was pretty sure she could see the cartoon hearts floating around him. Strand shrugged, “Nic is very…emphatic?”

Alex stared at him, gobsmacked, “Are you? Are you serious? Am I the only one seeing this?”

“Apophenia is a serious issue, Miss Reagan,” Strand said. Alex narrowed her eyes and waited for Strand to crack. It didn’t take long.

“You’re an asshole,” She informed him as he giggled, actually _giggled_ , “I was talking about the fact that Nic is once again pulling and he has no idea. Once again.”

Strand whipped his head back up and surveyed the scene again, much sharper than before. Alex mentally lamented to her newest empty shot glass about his eyes. Strand turned back to her, “Holy shit.”

“I know!” Alex gave up and let her head thunk down onto the table. It was sticky. She didn’t even care, “The same thing happened with Amalia. He’s got this terrible, terrible super power. It’s been happening since college. I almost feel bad for Geoff.”

“That explains why he looked so unhappy to see all of us,” Strand was thinking out loud. Alex doesn’t think she can ever remember him doing so before. She sat up.

“We need a plan,” Alex said as she wandered up to the bar.

“That’s exactly why I didn’t want to ask,” Strand called behind her, but she was on a mission. Reconnaissance. And tequila. That too. She slid into the seat next to Nic, boxing him between her and Geoff, “Hey guys.”

Nic immediately leaned towards her and smiled. Geoff glared at her over Nic’s head. She tried to settle into a bemused look, but she worried it might have slipped right over into amused. She signaled the bartender, a pretty, tattooed woman that she was pretty sure Ruby and MK had picked up together last weekend, for more shots. All the shots. All of her best plans came from more shots. She eyed the both of them as the shots were being poured, “What’s up?”

“Oh!” Nic lit up again, “I was just explaining about how we’re using one of those old school grid searches on our latitude of Tanis.”

Alex nodded and tried not to laugh at him. She’d overheard that exact conversation between them last weekend. And the Tuesday before that. And the Saturday before that. She almost couldn’t believe how bad Geoff had it. Interesting. Alex knew that Nic was cute in a small Canadian boy geek kind of way, but she also knew that he wasn’t cute enough to excuse listening to him prattle on and on about _grid searches_ for at least twenty minutes at a time. Multiple times. Amazing.

“So Geoff, what do you do?” Alex needed more information than ‘fawns over Nic like it’s his job’ if this plan was going to go anywhere. Unfortunately, Geoff was not looking very happy with her intrusion. Fine, she understood. But _recon._ Nic immediately turned back towards him though, and he visibly softened. Bless Nic and his apparent sway. Geoff grinned at him, then briefly looked back at Alex, “I do network admin for a company in Portland.”

“Cool, oh look my drinks are here, bye have fun,” Alex was smooth. Smoother than smooth can be. Strand had no right to be laughing at her like that. She dropped the shots in front of him and fell back into her chair, “We need to put that poor man out of his misery. We need a plan.”

“If you say we need a plan one more time, I’m leaving,” Strand continued to laugh at her but Alex just poked his shoulder.

“You need to be the man with the plan here Strand,” Alex surveyed Nic and Geoff again, then slid shots into both of their hands, “Okay, I will show you how a plan works. So, Phase One, I bet you a shot that Geoff touches his shoulders or neck in the next, oh, thirty seconds?”

“You’re joking,” Strand was clearly trying to look grave, but he was a little wobbly and there was beer foam clinging to his five o’clock shadow.

“I’m afraid not Doctor Strand, do you accept these terms?” Alex grinned, proffered her shot for clinking.

“You’re on,” Strand narrowed his eyes, met his glass with hers, then groaned not even five seconds later when Geoff reached over and ran his fingers down the back of Nic’s neck. Alex cheered as Strand knocked back his shot. She mentally addressed the rest of the glasses to inform them that she wasn’t watching his neck no way, no how. Strand licked his lips and glared at her, “I see how it is Reagan. I bet…”

++

“This is death,” Strand opined, “I can’t believe I listened to you. This is how I end up in the middle of a forest in the Seattle rain _yelling at trees_.”

“You need to let the tree thing go, seriously,” Alex moved her fingers to better block out the light. The light was the worst thing she’d ever seen, including the most recent hoax video sent to Strand. Why did there have to be a fixture right above her office couch? “Also, quiet. It’s a workday that means research and quiet.”

“If I must suffer this slow death so do you, Miss Reagan.”

“You’re the world’s biggest drama queen, I swear,” Alex rolled her eyes, then regretted it immediately, “It’s a hangover Strand, seriously. Either get on the new case, or help me come up with Phase Two.”

“Phase One was getting so drunk I had flashbacks to undergrad,” She heard rustling from the direction of her desk, assumedly Strand was doing something, “and then waking up on Nic’s floor. I fail to see how this plan has a Phase Two that’s nothing more than ibuprofen and never repeating Phase One.”

“Phase Two is getting Nic to make a move,” Alex mumbled.

“Phase One Point Five is getting Nic to realize a move is there to be made,” Strand countered.

“Alright fair,” Alex let her hand slide from her face and sat up gingerly.

“The problem being,” Strand mused, “is that based on your accounts of his dating history and what I’ve observed since knowing him…he’s the most one track minded person I’ve ever met. Believe it or not, I’m including myself in that proclamation.”

“You say accounts of his dating history like it wasn’t one sentence about half a bottle in,” Alex groaned, finally upright.

“Semantics,” She could _hear_ his hand waving away her pithiness, “But fine, tell me about Nic’s dating history.”

“I don’t know,” She absolutely in no way whined, she didn’t whine, “It’s not like I’ve known him our whole lives. He’d occasionally stumble his way into a one-night stand, and even more bafflingly stumble onto a relationship…Amalia had to tell him they were dating after like a month, he didn’t even realize.”

“Alex, I hate to burst this bubble before it even forms,” Strand suddenly looked more concerned than usual, “But does Nic even date…men?”

“Nic’s bi,” She waved away his concern, “I mean he was less out in college, changing times and all, but yeah.”

“At least we know Mr. Van Sant won’t expire of that sort of heartbreak,” Strand mused. Alex peered at him, albeit a little blurrily. She was tired okay?

“Have you…suffered that sort of heartbreak?” Alex had never really considered the idea of Strand dating men. He was married. She was pretty appalled at herself for that.

Strand stared at her. She shrugged, “It’s a legitimate question that I notice you aren’t answering?”

“Your journalistic prowess knows no bounds,” Strand replied dryly. He got up and left her office.

“You haven’t answered the question Strand!” Alex shouted after him, despite the pain it caused, “I’m onto you old man!”

++

They were out once more in the section of forest that Ms. Pallesen claimed was full of nymphs or tree spirits or something. Whatever they were they were “disturbing” her “herb garden.”

“The real question is not how there are nymphs in the specific spot only,” Alex mused as they both trudged through the undergrowth, “But how this woman is managing to grow weed in the Pacific Northwest…actually the real question is if it’s quality weed grown in the Pacific Northwest.”

“I’m horrified that I even know you,” Strand deadpanned.

“Listen, northern weed is terrible,” Alex explained, “Do you know what Canadian weed is like Richard? It tastes like constant apologies and the dead of winter.”

“I have a doctorate,” Strand opined, “I went to college for so long and lead a prosperous professional life. What did I do to deserve this?”

“Your ‘prosperous professional life’ is telling people that ghosts are fake, I don’t think you have the moral high ground here.”

Strand glared at her, but they had reached the area they needed and she ignored him, “Do you have the printout?”

“No,” Strand said, “I hiked four miles out into the Washington wilderness and I left it at home.”

“Did you laminate it this time though?” Alex countered, “Because we could have done this last time if the paper hadn’t disintegrated.”

“Where did you even find this ridiculous set of horseshit?”

“The fact that you go so far to not call this a ritual makes it even more entertaining,” Alex warned, “MK dragged it up off of some dark web. Or she pulled it off 4chan to fuck with us. Also I’m setting up the recording equipment, so put a filter on it.”

All in all, the ritual went off without a hitch. No supposed nymphs appeared, it didn’t rain, and Alex was calling that a success. As she packed up the recording equipment her mind wandered back to the more important task at hand.

“So about Geoff and Nic,” She began, and Strand groaned.

“Really,” He asked, “We’re doing this? Now?”

“Would you rather we made the four-mile hike back in total silence?” Alex countered.

“A rock and a hard place is too kind a metaphor for the hell I’m living right now.”

“I really don’t understand how you’ve built a ‘prosperous professional life’ when you’re the _biggest drama queen ever_.”

++

“I fail to see how this is integral to Phase One Point Five,” Strand glared at her as she set up the dvd-player. She magnanimously ignored him.

“Reconnaissance,” She hissed, shoving the tray back into its slot.

“You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Alex stared at him for a beat. Then another beat. Strand didn’t even look ruffled. Alex shook herself out of it, “Who are you?”

“I contain multitudes Miss Reagan,” He sniffed, “Now what useless drivel are you forcing me to watch?”

“You say that like I brought you to my apartment at gunpoint,” Alex said, “And shut up _Sweet Home Alabama_ is an American classic.”

“Alex, I assure you,” Strand sighed, “I would rather be yelling at trees.”

Silence reigned for a few glorious seconds. Then…

“You’re Canadian.”

++

Strand looked appalled as she handed him her game plan.

“Listen _Richard_ , say what you will about the trees, but this is rock solid. _Reconnaissance_.”

++

“Somehow, I don’t think that the hat is going to distract from the fact that you’re the worst spy in existence,” Strand mused, stirring the ice in his drink, as Alex ducked behind the menu again when the door jingled.

“Don’t mock me,” She hissed, scoping out the entering couple with disappointment, “How else were supposed to know if they actually showed up? You know Nic, he wouldn’t know how to leave the studio if you payed him to.”

“I’m starting to think he wouldn’t know romantic interest if we walked Van Sant naked through said studio,” Strand mused.

“So,” the waitress had apparently swung back around, Alex jumped in surprise, “Are we ready to order yet?”

“No,” Alex jumped in before Strand could, and smiled up at the harried girl, “Just a few more minutes?”

“Sure.”

Alex sighed as she walked away, the jumped when Strand spoke, “You know part of blending in in order to spy well is actually participating in the activities of a restaurant goer.”

“Shut up,” Alex glared, “What do you know about it?”

“You don’t know everything about my life Miss Reagan,” Strand continued to sound smug, “Also Nic just walked in.”

Alex jumped, looking back out over the café over her menu, and sure enough there was Nic. Alone. She hissed, “Well shit. Where’s Geoff?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea. Would you like to look less like you’re spying on him and more like you’re enjoying dinner?” Strand grabbed at her menu and laid it back on the table, “Seriously we need to order at some point.”

“Hey hon,” the same waitress’s voice carried across the small room, “What can I start you off with?”

“Oh, I’m…I’m actually supposed to be meeting some people?” Nic sounded like he hadn’t slept in a week and had stumbled here on accident, possibly after being blindfolded and spun around a few times. This was her moment. Alex fumbled her phone under the table and sent Nic a quick text.

_Hey! Sorry Strand and I stumbled across a new avenue of research, won’t be leaving the library until closing, can’t make dinner :(_

She waited a moment, then watched Nic slide his phone out of his pocket, the same moment that Geoff walked in. Geoff caught sight of Nic, who hadn’t even managed to sit down, pretty quickly, “Hey, Nic!”

Nic spun around and wobbled pretty violently. Alex once again had a moment of watching a car crash. Nic wavered forwards into Geoff and smiled, “Hey, I think we got stood up. For a library.”

“You okay there?” Geoff sounded concerned as he steered Nic into a seat.

Alex struggled to overhear Nic’s response but there was suddenly a body right in front of her sight line. The waitress. Right

“How are we doing?” She asked, apparently unaware of Alex’s need for her to be _anywhere else right now_ , “Ready to order?”

“Yes,” Strand answered before she could and glared at Alex’s look. Alex didn’t even bother listening to the conversation, trying to tune back into Geoff and Nic. The waitress left and Alex couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Strand chuckled, “He fell asleep, didn’t he?”

“How did you even know that?” Alex hissed, “You haven’t looked at them once.”

“Alex,” Strand waited until she looked at him, “Nic has been in the studio later than either you or I this whole week. His episode deadline is coming up. He’s been subsisting on caffeine pills and MK’s emails for the last three days. Frankly I’m amazed he made it here without wandering into traffic.”

“How did this Phase fail even worse that the tequila?” Alex moaned, letting her head fall into her hands.

++

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” Alex hissed, ducking in an alcove as Nic glanced behind him again, “I swear to everything Richard if you don’t pick up your phone I’m going to—”

“Hello Alex,” Strand chuckled in her ear and she jumped, “It’s been so long since we last talked, those five minutes were absolute torture, now what was it you were going to do?”

“I don’t have time for your sass right now,” She whispered, “I know Geoff is still in Nic’s office you need to get him to the supply closet by the studio.”

“The fact that I know where you’re going with this pains me to my core,” Strand groaned, “But fine, because, once again, anything is better than Phase One.”

“Whatever, just do it, you’ll have to unlock it, I’m locking Nic in now,” Alex ended the call, then darted forward and slammed the door shut. She heard Nic knock something over from behind it, then she made sure it was locked and ran. There had been a problem a few years back with interns stealing office supplies so the locks on the closets were reversed and only the janitors could open them, but she had a spare key squirreled away in her desk.

Thinking on it now, it was remarkably convenient for their purposes.

She slowed to a walk as she rounded the corner back to her office. Once inside she collapsed onto her couch. Matchmaking was hard work.

“Alex, I can’t believe I’ve let you talk me into doing something so childish,” Richard said, “But Van Sant is now locked in the closet.”

She opened her mouth, a grin already unfurling, but Strand interrupted her, “Do not steep to an even more childish level I beg. Now come look at this, one of your listeners managed to actually send us something of merit.”

“High praise, doctor,” Alex stood and peered over his shoulder.

“It’s _peer-reviewed_ ,” Strand sounded delighted and she stifled a laugh.

++

Alex sat up straight and her back cracked in at least four places. She stretched, “Okay, so that really wasn’t all bad, definitely some more to look into.”

“Sometimes the academic approach isn’t that boring,” Strand reasoned, snapping the book shut, “How long have we been at this, it’s probably past time we freed your pet project.”

Alex glanced at the clock on the wall, “Oh _shit_ , it’s nearly five.”

They locked them in around eleven. Maybe ten. Time was hard, in her defense.

“Oh,” Strand sounded surprise. They shared a look then made for the door. Once out of her office, she hooked a left, and ran into Strand as he made to go right. She stared at him as they stalled in the hall.

“The closet,” She pointed, “It’s that way.”

“No,” Strand said slowly, nodding down the hall, “It’s that way.”

Silence reigned for another beat.

“Which,” Alex paused, “Strand, which supply closet did you think I meant?”

Strand adopted a mulish look, “The cleaning supply closet…by the studio.”

“Fuck,” Alex bolted. She careened through the halls until she skidded to a stop in the hall with the cleaning supply closet, which was being opened by a janitor who looked very confused by the Geoff Van Sant spilling out of it, thanking her profusely.

Alex dragged a hand down her face and sighed, “Excuse me, have you been by the office supply closet on this floor yet?”

++

“Alex, I know you hate to admit defeat, but I don’t think this is working. At all.”

“There’s got to be _something_ to help them out!”

++

Alex couldn’t believe her luck. This was destiny. This was fate. This was whatever kept her from getting eaten or whatever by baby-stealing, upside-down face demons on the regular.

Geoff was once again in the studio, and he was wearing a _white shirt_. Not only that but he was _once again_ with Nic, in the hallway leading from PNWS’s admittedly sad break room to Alex’s office. The office with her and Strand’s recently empty coffee cups.

“This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done,” Alex whispered to steel herself, then continued on with her plan. She held both cups of, now thankfully, cold coffee, and set on down the hallway confidently. This was it. This was the moment.

She almost chickened out as she approached, but another look at Geoff’s flirting face, a face that after these few weeks she was unfortunately familiar with, and she knew it had to be done. A step behind where Geoff and Nic were leaning against the wall Alex stumbled. For all appearances tripped. Fell.

It was like slow motion, watching both cups of coffee and the liquid within them arc towards Geoff and Nic, watching Geoff’s face move from unsubtle flirtation to a millisecond of surprise then horror, watching Nic start to turn towards the sound, before it all came crashing down. By it all, of course, she meant the coffee, the cups, her.

“Jesus!” Nic yelped, and Alex twisted around once she hit the carpet to survey the damage. Nic and Geoff were both dripping brownish liquid, Nic was clearly concerned about Alex but Geoff just looked broken. He hadn’t even moved from his original position and his face was defeated.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Alex waved Nic away, “Just embarrassed, wow, are you guys okay?”

“Just suffering some unbelievable karma,” Geoff answered, then shook the coffee dripping into his eyes off, “Nic I’ll see you later.”

Alex scrambled up and booked it towards her office to report the incident to Strand. She heard Nic’s confused voice behind her, “Oh, okay, bye…everyone, I guess.”

++

She was done.

Completely done.

The killer of it was that she’d done nothing but her best to get Nic to say _something_ to Geoff, because the latter was clearly suffering and _something_ was what had to be done. So here she found herself, hammering on Geoff van Sant’s door.

After a minute or so the man himself opened the door and immediately deflated. Van Sant ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Alex felt offended for some reason.

“What,” he said, no inflection, “Here to warn me off your boy some more?”

Alex, in a second she would admit to no one but herself thought wildly of van Sant’s sudden and unexpected attraction to Richard, “What?”

“Are you fucking serious,” Geoff dragged a hand down his face, “I get it okay. I caught the hint. I’m evidently barred from asking Nic out. Which is idiotic, MK and I have already discussed it, and I know from her that you’re not dating him, because _she is_ , so I don’t know where this quest to fuck up my chances with him has come from but I _get it_ okay, can you just leave me alone? Or at the very least stop throwing coffee on me?”

Alex would admit that she’d been at a loss for words before. Hell, it happened within the last month alone. But now, all she could choke out after several tense moments was, “ _Nic and MK are dating?_ ”

Geoff blinked at her. He glanced behind him and swallowed before catching her eye again, “You really didn’t know?”

She shook her head, “Thought MK was dating Ruby.”

Geoff shrugged, “She is, sort of, Ruby’s not huge on monogamy either.”

“Either?” Alex choked.

Geoff narrowed his eyes, “Okay now I feel like we’re having different conversations and I’m starting to feel shitty that I outed Nic without knowing. You wanna come in?”

Alex followed him in when he stepped away from the doorway. The sitting room she entered was muted, tastefully decorated, and contained an MK she wasn’t expecting. Alex found herself staring helplessly at her and MK shrugged, “We like to get together every couple weeks and have weird sex where we talk about Nic.”

Geoff scoffed behind Alex, “You don’t think it’s weird.”

MK grinned wickedly, “No, but Alex clearly thinks it is and I’m exploiting it.”

Geoff shooed her away, shutting the door behind her before turning to face Alex, “So…?”

“I’m starting to think you won’t believe me at all but I swear I’ve been trying to help.”

Geoff stared at her and all Alex could do was shrug helplessly. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “All due respect, but I really hope you never try to help me again.”

“There was suffering!” Alex couldn’t help but defend herself, “There was a plan! To end the suffering!”

“Dude, you want suffering, try having to listen to both Geoff _and Nic_ go on and on about the other,” Neither of them had heard MK open the door apparently, because Geoff jumped just as much as Alex. MK was leant against the doorframe, perpetual smirk in place, “Why wasn’t there any plan to end _my_ suffering Reagan, come on.”

Geoff pinched the bridge of his nose, “Why are you such an asshole?”

“You wouldn’t have me any other way,” MK snorted, “Nic’s the sweet one, you know this.”

“Okay but,” Alex was truly lost now, “If you _knew_ why haven’t you said anything?”

“I’ve been trying!” Geoff whirled back on her, “But every time I try you come around and sabotage me! Or Nic falls asleep. Admittedly that’s about eighty percent of the problem.”

“There’s also the part where Lovesick Moron Number Two over here won’t interrupt Lovesick Moron Number One when he starts up about his search for the mystery,” MK looked delighted. Alex was starting to have a feeling she put up with far more than anyone realized.

“We can’t all enjoy gagging him _Mikayla_ ,” Geoff said.

Alex chose to forgo the rest of the sentence for, “Is your name really Mikayla?”

MK shook her head, “No, but it’s the one on the dummy Facebook profile that Nic thought he was really clever for finding.”

Alex shrugged, “Okay, well, I’m gonna…yeah, I’m gonna go. I’m, uh, I’m really sorry about,” She waved her hands, encompassing both of them, “Yeah. That. Um. Good night!”

Then she bolted. Admittedly, not one of her finer moments.

++

Alex looked down at the line of shot glasses on the sticky bar table in front of her, “What happened to Phase One Never Again?”

Strand shrugged, “These are celebration shots, not planning shots. Far different. Keep up Miss Reagan.”

“We’re both sober Doctor Strand,” She grinned, then knocked one back. Across the room MK was elbow deep in the guts of the perpetually broken jukebox. Ruby had brought a toolkit this week. It was, Alex had to admit, very gay. Nic and Geoff weren’t helping the scene, sitting so close they were practically melded at a nearby booth while Geoff heckled MK’s abilities.

“I must admit,” Strand mused, also taking in the scene, “This went far better than I expected when you first stumbled across the room ranting about a plan.”

“I don’t stumble, don’t be a dick,” Alex said, leaning over and nudging his shoulder with hers, “Bet you a shot that MK can’t fix that monster.”

“I don’t remember gambling with you working out very well last time,” But he was smiling and Alex couldn’t do anything but smile back helplessly. He quirked an eyebrow and raised a shot, “But, by all means, you’re on.”

She raised her own and touched the glass to his. As her eyes watered, from the truly heinous, honestly why did they keep coming back here, tequila, across the room MK yelped.

“You’re joking,” Alex said, as MK extracted her arms from the machine and smacked the side with the butt of the screwdriver she was holding. With a grinding lurch the jukebox sprang to life, and scratchily blared out the opening to _Wouldn’t It Be Nice_.

Everyone froze. Alex caught Richard’s gaze and almost hurt herself keeping the laughter in.

MK stabbed the screwdriver back into the machine and it stopped.

“Some mountains just weren’t meant to be unfucked,” Ruby said, deadpan.

This time Alex definitely hurt herself, bursting out into laughter. She hadn’t laughed that hard since stumbling off the trail and finding Richard, soggy and annoyed, in the middle of an old lady’s secret forest weed garden.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and Strand was forcefully poking her, “You need to do a fucking shot, I won this round and I’m not letting you forget it, Alex.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic also features a kind of MK/Geoff/Nic variant, because everyone communicates well and it's all copacetic.
> 
> Find me on tumblr at floralpunkbarton to yell at me about yelling at trees.


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